There's a great line in the sci-fi novel "Babylon's Ashes", #6 in James S.A. Corey's kickass The Expanse series (season 2 of Syfy's very entertaining TV adaptation is soon to drop), where a ship's captain, trying to decide on a course of action under perilous circumstances while wrestling with self-doubt and guilt about her previous choices, is asked, "What's the magic word?"
Huh? Magic word?
Turns out, the magic word is "Oops".
As in, "Oops, I made a BIG mistake", "Oops, I didn't realize/look closely enough/think it through before I acted/know what I didn't know", "Oops, that didn't work out the way I really thought it would", "Oops, I dropped it and it broke into a million pieces.", etc.
An overarching theme (ooh, big-time Lit class!) in Babylon's Ashes is that big decisions must always be made without enough information to be completely certain of the outcome. In fact, the character who is the most sure of himself makes choices with catastrophic consequences, then when things go to hell, justifies his own actions and blame everybody else. He's got responsibility, but no accountability and for sure, no compassion. Everybody suffers because of this jerk.
You can use "Oops" as a key to unlock the door of taking responsibility without being crushed by blame or immobilized by uncertainty. "Oops" is not about trivializing mistakes. Rather, it's about allowing yourself to admit that you missed the call/blew it/dropped the ball/didn't realize/got too anxious to think/spaced out/was too preoccupied with ____/was an idiot/didn't know what you didn't know, etc., etc. etc. Then, allowing yourself to keep on keeping on, learning as you go. There's always going to be another decision to be made or action to be taken. Being mired in indecision and avoidance doesn't get you off the hook, it just makes you feel helpless.
Forward we go - doing the best we can with what we've got at the time.
Very handy, that "Oops".
Huh? Magic word?
Turns out, the magic word is "Oops".
As in, "Oops, I made a BIG mistake", "Oops, I didn't realize/look closely enough/think it through before I acted/know what I didn't know", "Oops, that didn't work out the way I really thought it would", "Oops, I dropped it and it broke into a million pieces.", etc.
An overarching theme (ooh, big-time Lit class!) in Babylon's Ashes is that big decisions must always be made without enough information to be completely certain of the outcome. In fact, the character who is the most sure of himself makes choices with catastrophic consequences, then when things go to hell, justifies his own actions and blame everybody else. He's got responsibility, but no accountability and for sure, no compassion. Everybody suffers because of this jerk.
You can use "Oops" as a key to unlock the door of taking responsibility without being crushed by blame or immobilized by uncertainty. "Oops" is not about trivializing mistakes. Rather, it's about allowing yourself to admit that you missed the call/blew it/dropped the ball/didn't realize/got too anxious to think/spaced out/was too preoccupied with ____/was an idiot/didn't know what you didn't know, etc., etc. etc. Then, allowing yourself to keep on keeping on, learning as you go. There's always going to be another decision to be made or action to be taken. Being mired in indecision and avoidance doesn't get you off the hook, it just makes you feel helpless.
Forward we go - doing the best we can with what we've got at the time.
Very handy, that "Oops".
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