Dr. Laura Forsyth ~ Cognitive Behavior Therapy & ADHD Counseling for Adults
  • Imagine
  • About
    • What To Expect
    • Fees & Insurance
    • Privacy Policy
  • Resources
    • Basic Brain Training
    • For ADHD
    • For Anxiety
    • For Stress
    • For Managing Time Online
    • For Picturing What's Going On (Pinterest)
    • For CBT Homework
  • Best Medicine
  • ADHD
  • Telehealth
  • Blog
  • Contact

What's the magic word?

1/8/2017

1 Comment

 
There's a great line in the sci-fi novel "Babylon's Ashes", #6 in James S.A. Corey's kickass The Expanse  series (season 2 of Syfy's very entertaining TV adaptation is soon to drop), where a ship's captain, trying to decide on a course of action under perilous circumstances while wrestling with self-doubt and guilt about her previous choices, is asked, "What's the magic word?" 

Huh? Magic word?

Turns out, the magic word is "Oops".

As in, "Oops, I made a BIG mistake", "Oops, I didn't realize/look closely enough/think it through before I acted/know what I didn't know", "Oops, that didn't work out the way I really thought it would", "Oops, I dropped it and it broke into a million pieces.", etc. 
​
An overarching theme (ooh, big-time Lit class!) in Babylon's Ashes is that big decisions must always be made without enough information to be completely certain of the outcome. In fact, the character who is the most sure of himself makes choices with catastrophic consequences, then when things go to hell, justifies his own actions and blame everybody else. He's got responsibility, but no accountability and for sure, no compassion. Everybody suffers because of this jerk.

You can use "Oops" as a key to unlock the door of taking responsibility without being crushed by blame or immobilized by uncertainty. "Oops" is not about trivializing mistakes. Rather, it's about allowing yourself to admit that you missed the call/blew it/dropped the ball/didn't realize/got too anxious to think/spaced out/was too preoccupied with ____/was an idiot/didn't know what you didn't know, etc., etc. etc. Then, allowing yourself to keep on keeping on, learning as you go. There's always going to be another decision to be made or action to be taken. Being mired in indecision and avoidance doesn't get you off the hook, it just makes you feel helpless.

Forward we go - doing the best we can with what we've got at the time. 
 
Very handy, that "Oops". 
1 Comment
JC
2/28/2017 11:29:21 pm

Wow...I never thought of that! Maybe I can try using that word and make a decision for once in my adult life, instead of waiting until I'm forced to go one way or another! Haha
Thank you!

Reply

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Author


    Welcome to my very occasional blog:
    ​Productive Distractions

    Since we all get distracted (some of us more than others), let's make it useful.

    However, just in case, are you one of those people who can fall down the rabbit hole and lose hours online? 

    If so, welcome, fellow traveler! 

    Now, do yourself a favor. 

    Right now, before you do anything else, grab a sticky note & write down what you're looking for, or how long you're going to spend, or what it is that you're really supposed to be doing.  

    Next, note the time you will stop and get back on task - write big numbers! 
    ​
    Stick the note on the screen. Set a timer.
    ​  
    Keep your promise.  :)


    Like my point of view? Great!
    Want to talk?
    ​Even better! 

    Ready to move forward towards living with meaning & satisfaction?
    Like what you see here?

    Let's talk!

    I'd love to work with you.

    I offer online counseling for people in California.  Click below to set up a free 15 minute consultation by phone or video.
    Let's talk!

    Categories

    All
    ADHD
    Brains
    Inspiration
    Lifestyle
    Mindfulness
    Practice Philosophy
    Self Care
    Self-care
    Sleep
    Stress
    Worry

    RSS Feed


    ​Archives

    August 2021
    June 2021
    April 2021
    March 2020
    October 2019
    September 2019
    February 2019
    October 2018
    September 2018
    January 2017
    June 2016
    March 2016
    December 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    September 2014
    July 2014
    March 2014
    January 2013
    October 2011

New Inquiries & Free 15-min Consultation

Patient Portal
​& Scheduler



Laura Forsyth, PhD, Licensed Psychologist, PSY 17938 
 Compassionate, science-informed psychotherapy in Camarillo, CA & online
805.795.2131
Photos used under Creative Commons from dalbera, dalbera, dalbera, quinn.anya, dalbera