Dr. Laura Forsyth ~ Cognitive Behavior Therapy & ADHD Counseling for Adults
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Bird has the Word

7/26/2014

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Picture
Most everybody knows Big Bird. But have you ever really listened to what the Bird says?  

One day, years ago when my kids were little, I was fixing lunch while they watched Sesame Street. Looking up from flipping the grilled cheese, I was just in time to hear Big Bird say, "Asking questions is a good way of finding things out." 
 
I about dropped the spatula. The Bird had nailed it. 

How many times have do people (you, me, anybody) go round and round in our own heads about something - some worry, some belief about what another person is doing/thinking/feeling/intending or has done/thought/felt/intended, some assumption about what's going to happen in the future that's not going to turn out well?  Without actually investigating whether or not what we are thinking is accurate, even a little?  Frequently. Freeeequently.  All the time. 

And, how many times do we later find out that the situation was different from what we'd thought it was?  

Frequently.  Freeeequently.  All the time. 

Ever noticed how hard it is to remember to ask, to check out what you're thinking before getting all wound up about it? Ever think, "If I had only realized, if I had only thought to ask..." 

Us human beings often fail to realize - or if we do know, often forget - that what we think and thus worry about is based on our perceptions and our interpretations of those perceptions, NOT on any kind of objective reality.  Nobody's fault, it's just the way we're made. 

So, without going into a big lecture on cognitive distortions, or how to look at whatever is worrying us from a more rational and compassionate POV (all manner of insightful and useful things about this topic can be easily found by a quick search), maybe, just maybe, when we are worried, angry or distressed, it would be easier to simply bring to mind that large yellow feathered creature with funny-looking orange legs.  The one who says,

"Asking questions is a good way of finding things out."

Word, Big Bird.
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    Welcome to my very occasional blog:
    ​Productive Distractions

    Since we all get distracted (some of us more than others), let's make it useful.

    However, just in case, are you one of those people who can fall down the rabbit hole and lose hours online? 

    If so, welcome, fellow traveler! 

    Now, do yourself a favor. 

    Right now, before you do anything else, grab a sticky note & write down what you're looking for, or how long you're going to spend, or what it is that you're really supposed to be doing.  

    Next, note the time you will stop and get back on task - write big numbers! 
    ​
    Stick the note on the screen. Set a timer.
    ​  
    Keep your promise.  :)


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Laura Forsyth, PhD, Licensed Psychologist, PSY 17938 
 Compassionate, science-informed psychotherapy in Camarillo, CA & online
805.795.2131
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